Whether it involves work-life balance, or the multiple demands of a working mom, I hear this term and goal daily. And while I’m not innocent of spending valuable thought and emotional space on “finding my balance”, I am always somewhat amazed by how often this term and concept comes up.
Here’s why. I believe that many of us are operating with limited resources of time, emotion, and energy; we must budget wisely. And, from my perspective, seeking “balance” can operate as if you’re throwing pennies in the well. The term and goal makes us feel as if we are allocating our efforts in a way that shows what we care about, but yet the effort, in reality, can leave us with guilt, shame, resentment, and another item on the to-do list. (ie. sign kids up for soccer, empty dishwasher, walk the dog, find that darn balance…)
This entire operation reminds me of a time that I once was sitting at a red light, next to a bicyclist who was perfectly balancing on his bike. He had the perfect gear, the high-end bike, and the physical ability to keep the bicycle upright and stationary. I was very, very impressed. However, what struck me was the tightness in his muscles, and the focus on his face; even his jaw was clenched. So, how much was he enjoying this moment, really? And what was all of this effort for? This was energy he could have spent on his next hill, he could have been watching the traffic flow, or feeling the beautiful breeze, but instead his goal was balance.
What if, instead, we paid attention to the thoughts and feelings that arise when we are making our daily choices? If we were mindful enough to recognize and adjust when necessary? I imagine that a life lived intentionally, keeping in line with our values, and our goals, might feel more peaceful, and authentic, than doing it all, and then wondering how to make it balanced.
Let’s take a breath, loosen that jaw muscle, and cross off balance on the to-do list. Doing just that may be what makes it come naturally.
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