Maybe it’s natural for humans to hold on to things. Part of how we have evolved as a species is due to remembering and learning from our experiences. But when do we know when it’s time to allow for new lessons?
For some people, this question is related to dating after a divorce, for others, it’s going back to college or scrolling Petfinder after grieving a family dog. The concept of allowing a lesson to settle and thinking how to apply to a new experience is daunting when we’re in the transition, when the hurt still stings too much for a clear mind.
The reality is that ‘ready’ is a human, constructed concept. There’s no right or wrong, no official alarm bell when it’s the right time. However, here are a few signals for you, to look for, when you’re considering the next step:
When comparison stops being omnipresent. It’s natural to think of your previous experience as you enter a new one, but there comes a time in which it’s not the only and first thought.
When the quality of life scale tips; it is hurting you more to wait than to try. Everything in mental health and quality of life is give and take, pro and con. Perfection/the perfect time doesn’t really exist. So, keep an eye on how this decision is affecting your life and those closest to you. Is it still the best way forward, or is a new path better?
When your community is supporting you. This is a trick question. New things are best done with a community who shows unconditional love and support. If you don’t feel that now, maybe you’ve identified your next step to take before you know if you’re ready. If you have that already, perhaps you’ve identified your safety net and can communicate to them how this time might feel fragile and the specific ways you may need them.
Finally, if this all feels overwhelming, please remember that life is rarely all or nothing. That’s a good example of a thought that holds us back. Sometimes being ready is breaking down the goal into smaller, more manageable pieces, that both build confidence and give you information about when the bigger steps are accessible.
I’m rooting for you!
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